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If you want fewer royal engagements befriend a sex offender, Andrew tells Harry

Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew is thought to have advised his nephew that becoming bezzie mates with a convicted sex offender is the fastest way to get out of attending tedious royal engagements.

Prince Harry and wife Meghan announced on Wednesday that they were stepping back from their “work” as senior royals to become financially independent by flogging Sussex Royal branded tabloid-sized paper shredders. 

The couple say the pressures of Meghan continually being bitched about by racist twats at the Daily Mail lead them to the decision to move to Canada where even the prime minister occasionally blacks up in solidarity. 

With Buckingham palace said to be hurt by the Sussex’s decision to reject the long-held royal tradition of turning up and waving at the little people of the Commonwealth, Harry’s uncle, The Duke of York, has proposed an alternative solution. 

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Prince Andrew is thought to have explained to the duke and duchess that being pals with a paedo was a sure-fire way to get out of pretty much all the meet and greets and charity work while retaining a full royal benefits package in the UK.

The Duke of York has also faced criticism in the press for appearing in a photograph with a teenager who claims he had sex with her, but weirdly not nearly as much as Meghan does when she forgets to smile or wears the wrong hat to the opening of a Lidl in Basingstoke

Whether Harry and Meghan will take uncle Andy’s advice and spend more time with him in the future remains to be seen.

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