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Trump demands golden ducking stool

Donald Trump Builds A Wall

A recently impeached Donald Trump has demanded that the ducking stool for his trial is gold plated.

The US President has repeatedly accused the Democrat led impeachment proceedings of being a “witch hunt” but has assured supporters that he is definitely not a floater. 

Following the announcement of his impeachment on Wednesday, a defiant President Trump tweeted, “IF THEY ARE GOING TO BURN ME AS A WITCH I WANT A GOLD DUCKING STOOL.”

White House council pointed out that trying witches by fire and trying them by water were two different things, and both only legal in a handful of states, but Trump is alleged to have responded that “history will show that I’m right and you are so wrong, nah, nah, nah, loser.” 

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In a second tweet, the President said he’d sink like “a big gold bar, the biggest” thereby proving that he was “100% muggle” and clearing him of all the crooked trumped-up charges of witchcraft.

Responding to the Presidential tweets House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reiterated that Mr Trump would be tried in the Senate for abuse of power and obstructing Congress and not witchcraft.

She explained, “While we broadly agree that Mr Trump shares many characteristics with a particularly buoyant post Thanksgiving floater, he does not stand accused of witchcraft at this time.”

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