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Embarrassment in Moscow as Boris receives congratulatory muffin basket two days early

Vladimir Putin

An embarrassed Vladimir Putin has apologised after a muffin basket congratulating Boris Johnson on his landslide election victory arrived at 10 Downing Street on Wednesday morning. 

Speaking on state television, Mr Putin said he had “of course” intended for the gift to arrive on Friday after the result of the UK general election had been officially announced.

The Russian president put the premature delivery down to “fat fingers”, but stopped short of specifying whether the fat fingers in question were still attached to the hands of the person responsible for the cock up.

“I want to congratulate Boris when he wins or Mr Corbyn if he wins also, so I pre-order two muffin baskets with different notes as nice thing to do.” Mr Putin told Good Morning Moscow.

“So Boris’ muffin basket turns up a little too early, but that doesn’t mean anything. Mr Corbyn’s basket is probably just lost in post at Salisbury Post Office depot, on Fisherton Street near railway station.” 

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In May of this year, MEPs received similar congratulatory muffin baskets several days before the result of the European Parliamentary elections, leading to claims of Russian interference in the UK’s democratic process.

Boris Johnson, who claims his dog ate a report by the Parliamentary Intelligence and Security Committee into Russian baked goods in the Brexit referendum, said the basket was a “silly misunderstanding and must not become a distraction from getting Brexit done.”

“I must confess my Russian is a little rusty,” lied the prime minister between mouthfuls of a blueberry muffin topped with oats and caramelised demerara sugar. 

“I told old Vlad how much I liked Russian muff, but he must have thought I said Russian muffins, ho-hum.” 

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