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Public urged to refrain from pointing near political aides

Pointing Political Finger

With just two days until the latest general election, the Conservatives are urging the public to refrain from pointing near candidates or their aides. 

The public safety request comes after a senior advisor to Matt Hancock, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, was accidentally pointed at outside of a hospital in Leeds. 

Mr Hancock was dispatched to Leeds General Hospital yesterday after a photo of a sick child, sleeping on the hospital floor, interrupted the prime minister’s world record attempt at repeating the phrase “get Brexit done” without drawing breath. 

Having ensured that NHS funds had not been used to purchase the pile of coats the boy was pictured sleeping on, Mr Hancock paid the £75 parking fee and headed to his car accompanied by “pointed at advisor” George Fishlove.

As Mr Fishlove approach the ministerial limo, a Labour activist pointed, in what Tory sources have been quick to call, his general direction and he received a light brushing from a left-leaning index finger to the forehead. 

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Speaking after the event, Mr Hancock reassured the public that Mr Fishlove was with Bupa so was able to receive an MRI scan almost immediately and had been given the all-clear by a team of specialists.

“Luckily George was uninjured but let this incident serve to remind the public of the dangers of pointing at people or indeed pointing out their failings in the run-up to the general election.

“As my mum used to say, ‘careful Matt, you’ll have someone’s eye out with that and then you’ll be waiting in A&E for 14 hours with your eyeball in a Tupperware box’.” 

Boris Johnson reiterated Hancock’s warning and urged the public to “stop pointing out my failings and get behind me,” before adding the now obligatory “let’s get Brexit done.” 

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