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Jacob Rees-Mogg recovering after becoming lost below stairs at Gournay Court

acob Rees-Mogg Gournay Court
Photo credit: Wikipedia / Deposit Photos

Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to be shaken but expected to make a full recovery after being found trapped below stairs at his 17th century country house. 

Mr Rees-Mogg has been conspicuous in his absence during the general election campaign, leading some to speculate that Boris Johnson’s refusal to include the reintroduction of workhouses in the Tory manifesto had caused a rift between the pair.

Concerned family and servants contacted police on Saturday when the MP for North Somerset, who has not been seen for several weeks, failed to attend the Urchin of the Year award ceremony at a food bank in his constituency.

Detective George Fishlove lead the investigation: “Our initial enquiry revealed that the gentleman’s steamer trunk, top hat, and cane were still present in his dressing room.

“From that, I surmised that the old Etonian could not have left Gournay Court or strayed far from the local area as he would not be appropriately attired for a trip into town.

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“My officers then conducted an extensive room by room search of the property, eventually finding his lordship lost and dehydrated in a small scullery adjoining the jam and preserves kitchen.”

A maid, indentured to the Rees-Mogg household, told us she saw the MP wandering below stairs last week but had assumed he was a ghost due to his pale appearance and Victorian clothing.

“I saw this tall, pale figure dressed in Victorian clothes muttering something about it being common sense to go downstairs and leave a burning building,” she told us.

“I didn’t think it was the master because, well, he never comes below stairs and has far too much common sense to get lost in his own house.” 

Physicians are treating Mr Rees-Mogg with a course of leeches and expect him to make a full recovery from his misadventure in time for polling day.

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