The Post Truth Post

Alexa to choose next Arsenal manager

Alexa Wenger In

Arsenal's US owner in chief, Stan Kronke is thought to be using Black Friday as an opportunity to snap up a managerial bargain.

Arsenal sacked manager, Unai Emery, at 10am on Black Friday after Kronke asked Alexa if she had any thoughts on how the Gunners could break their seven game losing streak. 

Amazon’s little helper cheerfully suggested that Black Friday was the ideal opportunity to snap up one of a number of out of season managerial lightening deals now available on the bookseller’s new "Soccer Manager Marketplace". 

Amazon’s low prices and no quibble returns policy are likely to be a bonus for Arsenal’s ownership who will be keen to extract every last ounce of value from their new purchase having handed Emery a £4M severance package after just 18 months.

SUBMIT YOUR ORIGINAL SPOOF NEWS
ARTICLE TO THE POST TRUTH POST

Arsenal director, Josh Kronke, is currently locked in the board room discussing possible replacement options with Alexa. Italian and Former Juventus boss, Max Allegri, is thought to be top of Arsenal’s wish list, however Alexa continues to respond, "No sellers are currently delivering this item to your selected dispatch location in the UK - Mainland"

Meanwhile, Tottenham owner Daniel Levy is said to be kicking himself after ordering a used Jose Mourinho a full 10 days before Black Friday, following the sacking of Mauricio Pochettino.

Apparently taking his advice from Alexa’s rival, Siri, Levy paid full price for Mourinho and is now vowing to ditch his iPhone ahead of his next managerial appointment, expected later in the year.

NEXT ARTICLE

About Us