CEOs of America’s biggest healthcare corporations are said to be looking forward to picking up a bargain in the UK’s first NHS Black Friday event.
Chuck Swindler, of pharmaceutical conglomerate The Voracity Corporation, says he’s made the trip to London this Thanksgiving in the hope of picking up a contract to supply overpriced aspirin to over 40 NHS trusts.
“It’s not like we need another aspirin contract, but at these knockdown Black Friday prices it would be criminal for me not to get my hands on one,” he told us.
“For just a £20,000 donation to your Conservative party these contracts are a steal, especially now the pound is at rock bottom. Before your election we were expecting to pay three times the price. Hell, I might even get one for each of my ex-wives while I’m here.”
“I supply hospital trollies all around the world, but nobody has a bigger market than you Brits and your wacky NH of S.
“When I heard that you guys don’t build new hospitals any more, you just buy more trollies and park ‘em in the corridors, I thought yeehaw I gotta get me some of that action.”
Boris Johnson denied all knowledge of the NHS Black Friday event, but then he also said he’d rather be dead in a ditch than extend the Brexit deadline and that he didn’t feed Jennifer Arcuri after midnight.