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Black Friday feeling identified as disappointment, say scientists

Female Black Friday Shopper With Boxing Gloves

Scientists working at Cambridge University have managed to isolate the elusive "Black Friday feeling" and say it is a close relative of the feeling of extreme disappointment. 

A definition of the Black Friday feeling has eluded British science since the tradition of a pre-Christmas punch up in the electrical aisle of your local ASDA first migrated across the Atlantic.

Lead researcher Professor Fishlove told us about his discovery: “I first became aware of the so-called Black Friday feeling several years ago while working on a project to apply quantum string theory to the reasoning behind seasonal antivirus marketing.

“Every November I received more and more emails inviting me to get that Black Friday feeling by heading to a retail outlet or website to purchase items I didn’t require at prices that were greater than they would be several weeks later.

“At that time, I had little inkling as to what a Black Friday was, let alone how one would affect the biochemical balance of a participant’s central nervous system.” 

Under controlled laboratory conditions, Professor Fishlove and his team exposed lab rats to Black Friday marketing material, training them to use a series of buttons to order items from Amazon

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“At first the rats simply ignored the emails, but gradually they responded, buying more and more stuff until they could barely move in their cages due to the amount of crap they had ordered.

“I noticed that the rats that responded most eagerly to the Black Friday offers, frantically clicking their little buttons day and night, became depressed and started fighting the other rats just to get their paws on the last allegedly-cut-price Nutribullet.”

Having identified the negative psychological response amongst the rat cohort, Professor Fishlove hypothesised that the Black Friday feeling was best categorised as disappointment coupled with a lack of self-worth and a hefty dose of buyer’s remorse.

With the experiment complete, the Professor’s team say their next challenge is to eBay the thousands of unnecessary items the rats purchased. 

“We’ll be keeping the Nutribullet though,” the Professor told us, “it came in really handy for liquidising the rat's brains for analysis.” 

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