The Post Truth Post

General election 2019: Burger King shares soar as Brexit Party launch campaign

Burger King Brexit Party

Burger King shares reached a record high today as speculators bet on record milkshake sales in the run up to the general election. 

The meat patty pusher’s milkshakes have previously been popular projectiles for pro-remain punters, but investors expect growth across the board for beverage based dissent ahead of the December poll. 

In May, the fast food vendor received criticism for a Tweet that the Advertising Standards Authority said encouraged political protestors to “milkshake” Brexit party leader, Nigel Farage.

Ex-UKipper, Farage, took the threat of a lactose assault in his stride and urged supporters to “take the milkshake challenge” in support of the UK’s eventual exit from the EU.

SUBMIT YOUR ORIGINAL SPOOF NEWS
ARTICLE TO THE POST TRUTH POST

Sir George Fishlove-Smyth, of Smyth & Fishlove Investments PLC, says he’s going large on Burger King shares this November and expects a whopper of a return as the 2019 general election campaign heats up.

“Burger King leads the field in marketing milkshakes to protesters, but up until now, they’ve targeted a very niche demographic in the form of Mr Farage,” Sir George told us. 

“With the Brexit party expected to field candidates nationwide, not to mention viable targets from the mainstream parties, Burger King could be sitting on an absolute goldmine if they get their marketing strategy on point.”

MPs from across the political spectrum have condemned the practice of “milkshaking”, with the Labour party warning they will pursue prosecutions for anyone dousing their candidates with non-vegan beverages.

NEXT ARTICLE

About Us