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Telegraph owners put Conservative Party up for sale

Boris the dude Telegraph from page
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The reclusive billionaire owners of the Daily Telegraph and the Conservative Party are to put both up for sale. 

Sir Frederick and Sir David Barclay are understood to be reviewing all of their assets, which include the underperforming rightwing political party.

Frederick Barclay, who has pretended to be a pair of identical twins since 1974 for tax purposes, is thought to have purchased the Conservative Party from Rupert Murdoch in 2016.

A source close to the matter says that despite the brothers recent appointment of Boris Johnson as prime minister, they are disappointed by the Tory party's continued poor performance over Brexit. 

Johnson previously earned £275,000 writing weekly columns in the Daily Telegraph, which in spite of brave editorial decisions to accuse those who disagree with the Barclays' position on Brexit of treason, is also up for sale.

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“Freddy and Dave have staked a considerable amount of their fortune on Brexit, and the Conservative party have repeatedly failed to deliver on that investment,” says fellow offshore patriot Sir George Fishlove-Smyth.

“I expect the twins hoped that Boris would do something charming, like getting stuck on a zip wire again, and parliament would be so busy laughing at the blond buffoon they’d forget to stop a no-deal Brexit.

“Of course, now he’s strutting around like the bloody love child of Churchill and Trump, saying he’s got a great deal and calling for a general election every other day, that plan’s gone right out the window.” 

The Barclay brothers are thought to be considering diversifying their portfolio by investing in the Labour Party, but are said to be holding out until Jeremy Corbyn declares his position on Brexit.

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