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Second referendum: Brexit or pigs in blankets?

Pigs in blankets are better than Brexit

A second referendum would give voters the option of leaving the EU or eating delicious little sausages wrapped in beautiful British bacon, it has been revealed.

The news comes after the British Meat Processors Association warned that the UK could face a critical shortage of pigs in blankets unless Article 50 is revoked within a matter of weeks.

Its chief executive, George Fishlove, told The Post Truth Post that wrapping a rasher of back bacon around a cocktail sausage is a highly skilled task that many British school leavers were too vegan to complete.

“Our industry relies on immigrant workers from countries where young people are still prepared to eat meat,” he told us.

“While the UK remains a leading producer of gammon, our meat factories are struggling to attract seasonal workers from EU countries to pack and process our delightful porky products.” 

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The British Poultry Council says it is also struggling to find workers, warning that Brexiteers’ chickens may come home to roost unless parliament acts to stop the crisis.

Remain backing MPs have been quick to exploit fears that Brits could be faced with a plate of nut roast on Christmas day and are calling for a second referendum, before Christmas, to avert the disaster. 

Liberal Democrat MP, Marcus Toepath, says he understands people voted to leave in 2016 but says the referendum result would have been very different if voters had been aware that pigs in blankets could be off the menu. 

“I think the devastating impact of a shortage of pigs in blankets proves that we all understand a lot more about the true costs of leaving the EU than we did in 2016,” he said.

“The government must hold a second referendum and give the public the final say over Boris Johnson’s dry and tasteless Brexit deal or remaining in the EU with a lovely plate of moist bacon-wrapped chipolatas.”

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