Brexiteers were furious yesterday after Speaker Bercow refused a government request to hold a "yes" or "no" vote on its Brexit deal, saying it would be "repetitive and disorderly" to debate it again.
With just ten days until the October 31st deadline, and time running out, how else could MPs use the sovereignty of Parliament to delay Brexit?
A motion to put the clocks back by four years
“The ayes have it,” and just like that, we are all back in 2015. It could be an amendment to the Withdrawal Agreement Bill or new legislation drafted by a backbencher, but with one vote, the referendum never happened, Carrie Fisher is still our princess, and everyone is officially four years younger to boot.
Pick another female PM
Boris Johnson’s “great deal” is Theresa May’s “thrice defeated deal” retyped in Comic sans with a cartoon of Arlene Foster lying under a bus doodled on the cover. The EU could give Britain France as part of a Brexit deal, but if it’s brought before the House by a bird, the ERG grand wizards will vote against it on principle.
Prorogue Parliament again
The government prorogued Parliament to allow Boris Johnson to enjoy his summer without having to negotiate with Johnny Foreigner, so why not close the Commons to avoid Brexit altogether? Sure it’s the kind of tactic the Supreme Court warned could happen when they ruled the government’s prorogation was unlawful, but MPs are above the law now and judges are traitors and enemies of the people.
Start a war
The country could be on the verge of a civil war, but an actual war with actual foreigners would distract the Daily Mail from Brexit while allowing Boris Johnson to spend his days toddling around in a khaki onesie just like his idol Sir Winston Churchill.
Call another referendum
The 2016 referendum was called to settle divisions in the Conservative party by asking the people to solve the Tory’s European problem. David Cameron could have asked Parliament to trigger Article 50 without dragging the rest of us into it. Nothing has delayed the UK’s smooth departure from the EU more than three years of politicians fighting over the referendum result.