London Gatwick was in chaos this morning after a lorry carrying 43,000 pints of Stella Artois, destined for the airport, crashed on the M23.
The truck, which was due to refuel the Red Lion pub located in the airport’s North Terminal, careered off the road shedding its cargo. The driver is said to be uninjured but shaken by the incident.
Airport security were called to the open-plan Wetherspoons when bar staff became overwhelmed by angry holidaymakers desperate for a couple of 3 am Stellas.
Eyewitnesses say the queue at the bar stretched all the way back to the Dixons Travel shop as early morning drinkers scrabbled to change their pre-flight lubrication to a Carlsberg or Fosters.
“It was utter madness, none of the staff knew what was going on,” says Dave Towpath who was hoping to be half-cut as he embarked on a two-week family holiday to the Algarve.
“I’m here with the wife and two little ‘uns. We had to queue for over an hour, just to be told there was only Strongbow Dark Fruit available. It’s disgusting, although I’ll drink it if I have to.”
Gatwick Airport apologised for the delayed inebriation of some of their passengers and said they would take “appropriate steps” to mitigate the risk of future premium lager shortages.
“We deeply regret that some passengers on our early morning flights were forced to board sober this morning, and sincerely apologise for any distress or inconvenience this may have caused,” a statement on the airport’s website read.
“London Gatwick Limited takes the comfort of the 46 million drinkers that pass through our terminals every year very seriously and will seek to learn lessons from today’s events.”
The Post Truth Post understands that management at Gatwick are now considering repurposing several underground aviation-fuel tanks to store lager in bulk.