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Getting paid to insult each other actually pretty cool, agree MPs

Photo credit: BBC

Parliamentarians resumed shouting insults at each other on Wednesday, following the Supreme Court’s verdict that the prorogation - or suspension - of bellowing was unlawful.

In the face of widespread criticism that the language used in Parliament is adding to divisions in the country, MPs have defended their right to behave like a cage of mentally challenged chimps.

Conservative MP George Fishlove says the opportunity to shout down a softly spoken female member of the opposition is what first drew him to a career in politics. 

“When you have a real job, and someone is speaking at a meeting, you just don’t get the opportunity to scream you traitorous-remoaner-surrender-monkey at her,” he told us.

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“To be honest, I did try it, but some obnoxious bit of totty from HR complained. Luckily my golden parachute landed me here on the Tory backbenches.” 

Opposition MP Stephen Snarky agrees: “I’m a working-class lad, politics has allowed me to transcend my humble roots and earn an honest wage giving toffs the verbal two fingers.

“If I hadn’t become a Labour MP, I’d probably still be stood on the touch-line of a drizzle soaked Sunday league match questioning the parentage of the ref for self-fulfilment.”

“It’s the braying at PMQs I like best,” explained  Mr Fishlove, “there’s nothing like that feeling of knowing you’ve just got paid for a good honest day of braying. Best job in the world.” 

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