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The Queen to undergo superciliary Botox procedure

The Queen and Prince Philip

Her Majesty The Queen will receive a course of botulinum toxin injections to the forehead later today, say insiders.

The revelation comes after David Cameron told the BBC that he had enquired whether the Queen could “raise an eyebrow” about the prospect of Scotland voting for independence back in 2014.

Mr Cameron says he had hoped that even a quarter of an inch of movement above the royal eye-line would have been enough to save his bacon and convince the Scots to stay in the Union.

Fearing that current Number 10 resident, Boris Johnson, will request a similar intervention from the royal brow to fix Brexit, palace sources say Her Majesty is not taking any chances. 

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“If Bojo thinks he’s going to get anything other than the stony face of disdain from one, he is going to be sorely disappointed,” the Queen is alleged to have remarked in an unguarded moment.

“These Eton boys need to stop coming running to Buckingham Palace every time they start something they can’t finish,” she added while expertly shooting a clay pigeon emblazoned with Nigel Farage’s face. 

Below stairs staff claim that the royal physician has attended on several occasions to administer a dose of the popular neurotoxin to Her Majesty’s upper face.

Most recently, Her Majesty requested induced partial paralysis to help her maintain a suitably regal straight face in the presence of Jacob Rees-Mogg and his “ridiculous Victorian affectation”.

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