The government has dismissed its own no-deal Brexit contingency planning document as Project Fear on steroids.
Operation Yellowhammer documents, released on Thursday, state that there will be shortages of food and medicine, civil unrest, and a sharp decline in the UK’s unicorn herd if the UK leaves the EU without a deal.
“This is clearly another case of scaremongering by the naysayers of Project Fear,” a source close to Michael Gove, the man responsible for planning for a no-deal Brexit, remarked.
“Look, you can tell it’s the work of Project Fear because it contains all the things that those doom-mongers said could happen three years ago, other than the Zombie Apocalypse, but even I’m ruling that out.
“To be honest, it’s almost as if the person that drafted this report just cut and pasted its content from old copies of The Guardian rather than actually make a plan.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of WhatsApp messages about proroguing parliament I need to delete.”