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Labour will campaign for a Schrödinger’s Brexit

Jeremy Corbyn
Photo credit: DepositPhotos

The Labour Party will campaign to simultaneously leave the EU while staying in it, overturn the Brexit referendum while enacting the will of the people, and hold a second referendum before or after a general election, which they may or may not decide to support. 

With a general election almost bound to happen at some point, the Labour Party began setting out their stall yesterday, or rather, a large farmer’s market of stalls each selling very different misshapen organic produce. 

Deputy leader Tom Watson was praised by the Labour membership for declaring that his party would seek to reverse Brexit before accepting Boris Johnson’s demands for a general election.

Conversely Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, who recently formed an opinion on Brexit, reversed the sequence of voting opportunities.

Corbyn told the TUC conference that if his party first won a general election he would then call for a referendum on a “credible Leave option” versus remain.

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Momentum activist Geoff Fishlove clarified Labour’s position: “It’s really simple, the country is divided over Brexit, so we are going to divide our manifesto to please everyone and also no-one.

“Fifty-two per cent of the manifesto will be dedicated to leaving the EU, and the rest will be dedicated to staying in the European Union. 

“That way everyone can vote Labour and get exactly what they want, and also exactly what they don’t want.

The mixed messages have predictably been compared to Erwin Schrödinger’s famous thought experiment where a hypothetical cat voted Leave in 2016 but changed its mind after listening to James O’Brien on LBC.

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