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Fresh fears for dwindling Conservative parliamentary herd as Johnson threatens cull

Palace of Westminster
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Environmental groups have raised fresh warnings that Conservative MPs in the wild could soon become all but extinct in most parts of the UK as Boris Johnson proposes a cull.

The prime minister has threatened the few remaining Tory MPs that should they move to oppose him over Brexit they will be expelled from the party and deselected. 

With the threat of a mass cull, experts say now is the time to act to save the herd before the UK loses this once prevalent native species of politician forever.

“Despite being successfully reintroduced to Scotland, Tory MPs in the wild have been in sharp decline for several years,” says Oliver Fishlove of the Alliance to Save Conservative Britain. 

“Changing attitudes to groping in the workplace has meant they aren’t breeding to the same extent as they did even as recently as the 1990s.

“UKIP and Nigel Farage's Brexit Party have gained dominance in the Conservative’s natural habitat, pushing them further out to the eastern fringes of the Westminster political tundra.

“If Johnson culls all the MPs that oppose him, we could be facing an extinction situation within the month.” 

Opposition leaders have responded to calls to save the few remaining viable Conservative MPs and are hoping to separate them from the weaker animals with a vote of no confidence later this week.


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