The Post Truth Post

Trump responds to “very real” space threat

Trump Attacks
Photo credit: Mars Attacks!

US President Donald Trump has created a new Pentagon command that will focus on defending American interests against attacks from space.

“SpaceCom will ensure that America’s dominance in space is never threatened.

“I’m convinced that space is a war-fighting domain. I’m convinced that our way of life and our way of war depends on space capabilities. I’m convinced there is something out there and it’s coming to get me.

“I’ve seen things that you don’t even want to see, and I’m not just talking about The Phantom Menace.

“President James Dale, great guy loved his work, was murdered by illegal aliens from Mars or Mexico, I’m not sure. 

“The threat from space is very real, just look at history, President Whitmore saved us, he launched the nukes, just saying sometimes you’ve got to nuke things.

“I will defend this great nation against space invasion, whether it’s by little green men, little brown men, or the space Nazis that live on the moon, some very good people by the way.”

Although the US already has an Air Force focused on space warfare, Mr Trump announced that the new command will be developing systems for “Star Wars” type showdowns.

To the disappointment of hard-right Republicans, Trump ruled out constructing a space station with the approximate dimensions of a small moon, saying that initial efforts would be focused on “building a wall in space.” 

“We are gonna build a wall. A really big wall right along space to stop the aliens and we will make the Martians pay for it.” 

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