The Post Truth Post

Johnson: Don’t worry, the tanks are part of my very exciting agenda

red tank
Photo credit: Flickr

Boris Johnson has sought to reassure the public that the sight of tanks on the streets of Britain are nothing to worry about and part of his “very exciting agenda.”

The tanks started rolling into town centres across the UK, on Wednesday, shortly after the prime minister announced that he would instruct the Queen to suspend parliament.

Following the announcement, Johnson said that proroguing parliament had nothing to do will stopping MPs blocking a no-deal Brexit but that he wanted to “crack on, up scuttle the naysayers and restore democracy to the galaxy.” 

“Look I can spend my time debating with doom-mongers, pessimism-purveyors and misery-merchants or I can suspend parliament and do what Dominic tells me to do,” Boris said while smirking at a joke he thought he’d made.

“So I suspended parliament because I’m the king of the world now and you can’t stop me, um, of course I mean, because it’s the will of the people and best for Britain, yes that’s right.”

Asked about the appearance of tanks across the country the PM told reporters that they were there to make sure the public is fully aware of the benefits of a no-deal Brexit.

“The tanks are wonderful aren’t they, bright red, and strong like a bulldog, much better than my old buses,” Boris enthused.

“If you look closely, each one has a different positive slogan about taking back control painted on the barrel of its gun.

“I’ve just parked them in prominent places, like town centres, so that everyone is fully aware of all the positive slogans this country will gain once we’ve left the EU.” 

NEXT STORY

About Us