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Caretaker offers to lead caretaker government

Caretaker Prime Minister

Facilities manager Doug Smith has thrown his hard hat into the ring and says he’ll have a crack at forming a government if Boris Johnson loses a vote of no-confidence.

The news comes after opposition leaders roundly rejected Jeremy Corbyn’s offer to replace Johnson as the United Kingdom’s next unelected and unpopular prime minister. 

Corbyn, the leader of the Labour Party, wrote to the leaders of other opposition parties urging them to install him as caretaker PM if he wins the vote no-confidence in the government when MPs get back from their summer holidays.

With both Johnson and now Corbyn failing to receive any confidence from the House, Mr Smith, 56, has asked Speaker Bercow if his team are eligible to form a government under the rules of the Fixed-term Parliament Act. 

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Smith is head of facilities at the Palace of Westminster and says he has ample experience of constitutional blockages like Brexit due to the Victorian plumbing in the MP’s toilets.

“Look my team may not have gone to Eton or spent the 80s manning the barricades but when it comes to cleaning up the mess made by politicians we’ve got a track record second to none,” Mr Smith told us.

“Old Boris and beardy call themselves leaders, but I wouldn’t trust either of them to lead a flexible drain rod around a blocked u-bend quite frankly.” 

The parliamentary precedent for members of the Commons staff forming a government is unclear, but someone is bound to test the idea in the High Court before October 31st.

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