US Tweeter in Chief Donald Trump has unleashed an extreme close up of “Lil’ Donny” on an unsuspecting internet in support of comedian Whitney Cummings.
Earlier this year the US comedian inadvertently posted a photo on Instagram in which her nipple was visible, deleting it within seconds when she realised her mistake.
After attempts by some of her followers to extort money from her, under the threat of reposting screen grabs of the picture, Cummings tweeted the photo herself, commenting:
“If anyone is gonna make money or likes off my nipple, it’s gonna be me. So here it all is, you foolish dorks.”
In support of Cummings, several male comedians later posted their own embarrassing photos, mostly of injured testicles, along with the hashtag #IStandWithWhitney.
Donald Trump’s twitter feed is not generally known for acts of radical feminism, the President too has shown his support posting on Twitter.
“Just learned that someone posted a nipple on the internet. I’m a big fan of nipples, the biggest! Here is a shot of Lil’ Donny he likes nipples too. #IStandWithWhitney.”
The extreme close up of the President’s own
commander in chief reveals that his love of an epic comb-over isn’t just confined to his head and goes some way to explaining why, from his perspective, those hands must seem massive. NEXT ARTICLE
Former Justice Secretary Chris Grayling made a dramatic return to frontline politics today and will play a leading role as Prime Minister Boris Johnson gets increasingly tough on crime.
Mr Grayling headed up the Department for Transport under
Theresa May but has mysteriously not been seen since Johnson entered Number 10 a month ago.
As May’s campaign manager in 2016 it was thought that
Grayling was too close to the catastrophe of her premiership for Johnson to risk giving him a cabinet position, but today he has been revealed as central to the PM’s crackdown on crime.
Clad in an antiballistic carbon frame and titanium plates the ex-minister will assist the 20,000 new police officers the government has pledged to recruit, by
removing naysayers, doom-mongers and gloom-merchants from the streets.
Announcing the future of law enforcement, Home Secretary, Priti Patel told reporters that she wanted criminals to be “literally afraid of the police.”
“I want criminals to literally feel terror,” she said, adding “and I think we can all agree that seeing Chris in this body-hugging suit, wielding an Auto-9 and a Cobra Assault Cannon is some pretty scary shit.”
Grayling 1.1 has been cybernetically modified and will adhere to Dominic Cummings’ four prime directives, Deliver
Brexit, Destroy the public trust, Reelect Johnson, Any attempt to arrest a senior Tory results in shutdown.
Demonstrating his enhanced capabilities to the press, RoboGrayling shot himself in the foot several times at an
estimated cost of £1.5bn to the taxpayer, before aiming at his other foot and exclaiming: “Your move, creep.”