The Post Truth Post

PM promises new prison places for naysayers, doom-mongers and gloom-merchants

Boris Johnson Unicorn Folder

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has promised to create 10,000 new prison places and expand stop-and-search powers in a bid to crackdown on the dramatic rise in doom-saying, devastation-dealing and cataclysm-retailing in UK towns and cities. 

A further £2.5bn has been shaken loose from the Tory magic money tree to fund the programme, with HMP Full Sutton set to be the first prison to gain state of the art reeducation facilities. 

The government’s focus on law and order has added to speculation that Number 10 is preparing for an autumn general election, but Mr Johnson says the government is 100% focused on delivering Brexit at any cost.

Writing in the Mail on Sunday, Mr Johnson said that the investment in prisons was long overdue.

“I want the people of this great country to be free to believe in Britain, believe in Brexit and believe in me,” Mr Johnson wrote.

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“People must be free to walk the streets of this proud nation without fearing their optimism will be taken from them by hooligans armed with a copy of the Guardian or the crudely sharpened wit of The Post Truth Post.

“We need to come down hard on the pessimism-purveyors, the devastation-dealers and the misery-merchants and show the feral gangs of Project Fear that there are sunlit uplands, free Kool-Aid, and unicorns for all who truly believe.”

Previously decommissioned prisons will be refurbished and made into low-security rehabilitation centres for first-time offenders, while a new maximum-security facility will be built near the BBC’s MediaCityUK building in Salford for easy access. 

Critics argue the new stop and search powers could disproportionately target white middle class remain voters, but Policing Minister Kit Malthouse told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge “it's for the greater good”, a phrase which was repeated by members of Johnson’s cabinet. 

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