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Dover braced for jet-powered immigrant invasion

Flying Immigrants

A French inventor has crossed the English Channel on a homemade hoverboard raising concerns that the UK could soon be overrun by flying immigrant hoards.

Franky Zapata, 40, landed his jet-powered flyboard on top of the White Cliffs of Dover after crossing the Channel in under 22 minutes and possibly without a passport.

The European’s record breaking flight was greeted with suspicion by some local residents who now fear “foreigners descending from the sky like a swarm of flying ants.”

Dover resident John Bullingdon, real name Colin Laxative-Lemon, has called for the government to restart building Spitfires ready to fend off the airborne immigrant invasion.

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“Alright, this bloke claims to be French, and that’s bad enough, but what if the Turks or Syrians start building hoverboards?” Mr Bullingdon told Sunday morning drinkers at a local Wetherspoons.

“Think about it, the bias BBC is always sayin’ that them Syrian taxi drivers and pizza delivery boys were all rocket scientists and physicists back in their own country.

“So what’s gonna stop them from jetting over here to steal our jobs and spend their benefits on rocket fuel and jetpacks for their families, we’ll be overrun.”

The government responded to local concerns, with Dominic Raab reassuring residents that the Channel was up to 40,000 miles wide and full of dragons “which would no doubt eat most of the flying invaders.”

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