The Post Truth Post

Show us what you’ve got then, a jubilant UK taunts America

Union Jack Loser

After a convincing win in the International Race to the Bottom the UK has thrown down the gauntlet to rivals the United States of America.

The UK emerged victorious from the latest round of the contest, landing a knock out blow yesterday, when it elevated parliamentary jester Boris Johnson to the roll of prime minister. 

“Top that suckers,” the United Kingdom teased the younger country as Johnson was elected by less than one percent of the adult population.

America was characteristically magnanimous in defeat and congratulated its colonial father on a good game well played.

“Nice move limeys, we sure as hell didn’t see you boys voting for that dumbass, but we’ll be right back at ya.” said Uncle Sam dusting himself down. 

The contest is now in its 18th year, having been established by Tony Blair and George W Bush, and it would be hard to put a cigarette paper between the two countries at this point.

Following an early lead in the opening rounds, America dropped the ball several times and lost ground during two consecutive terms with Barack Obama in the captain’s arm band.

Ever the competitor, the US made an impressive come back when head coach Vladimir Putin substituted Obama for the untested new signing Donald Trump.

Under Trump’s stewardship the US was once again in sight of gold until the UK unleashed a devastating Brexit referendum play that left sports fans around the world utterly amazed and saw the US slip back into the relegation zone.

Down but not out, the US regrouped and have been steadily gaining on the UK throughout the 2019 season, in no small part thanks to their captain’s skill and dedication to the game.

With the UK back on top, and a game changing no-deal Brexit still up its sleeve, it could be game over for the yanks unless Trump has his contract renewed next season. 


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