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Corbyn: I felt a great disturbance in the Force

Corbyn Kenobi

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has told his disciples that he felt a great disturbance in the Force.

Mr Corbyn was attending the Labour Party’s daily disciplinary hearing for party members accused of anti-Semitism, when attendees report he went unusually pale at exactly 12:06 pm on Tuesday morning.

The dangerous hero rose to his feet silencing the room before exclaiming, “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if sixteen million voters suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced,” adding “I fear something terrible has happened.” 

Meanwhile in a conference centre not far away, Boris Johnson was anointed as Conservative Party leader and prime minister. 

“This will be a day long remembered,” Boris told the massed ranks of Tory Party clones.

“It has seen the end of Corbyn; it will soon see the end of the European Union.

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“I know many of you are displeased with the apparent lack of progress in delivering Brexit, and I find your lack of faith disturbing. 

“I see through the lies of the EU. I do not fear no-deal as you do. I will bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.

“I am altering the deal, the EU should pray I don’t alter it any further.

“We will achieve Brexit, search your feelings, you know it to be true!”

Leaving the stage flanked by his aides, Johnson was overheard telling a young reporter from the Times, “No, I am your father.” 

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