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Larry the Cat resigns in protest against Johnson not being neutered

Larry The Cat

Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office Larry the Cat becomes the fourth member of Theresa May’s administration to resign before Boris Johnson takes office.

Johnson is expected to be crowned the victor in the Conservative leadership contest later this week, having passed the test of keeping his trousers on and his mouth shut for a full three months. 

Larry joins Chancellor Philip Hammond, Justice Secretary David Gauke and Sir Alan Duncan who have all said they will not contemplate being petted by Mr Johnson when he inherits the keys to Number 10 on Wednesday.

Leaving Downing Street this morning Larry briefly stop to address the press, licking his arsehole in response to questions about how he felt Johnson would fare as prime minister. 

Chief Mouser at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Palmerston the Cat, who is a close friend and colleague of Larry, gave an exclusive interview to The Mail on Sunday.

Palmerston told The Mail that despite Johnson’s explicit and very public promise of kippers for all, Larry and several other Westminster cats couldn’t bring themselves to back the future PM’s insistence of keeping a no-deal Brexit on the table.

“We may not be fat cats,” Palmerston told The Mail, “but it’s pretty obvious that when one leaves, one should always make sure the catflap is open in case one changes one’s mind later.”

In a statement Larry said that while he was really not that bothered about Johnson’s self-serving position on Brexit he was devastated to learn that the future PM would not need to be neutered before taking up residence in Downing Street.


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