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Britain’s Next Prime Minister a flop for ITV

Photo credit: BBC

ITV’s new weekday prime time talent show, Britain’s Next Prime Minister, has been canned after the pilot fails to engage viewers. 

Critics have slammed the first airing of the show which pitches two hapless middle-aged white men, with ambitions to lead the country, against each other in what the channel described as an unscripted reality talent debate format.

Jeremy Hunt, the first contestant to take to the podium, opened the show with his impression of a Dalek by repeating the word “negotiate” over and over in his weirdly modulated voice. 

With the audience visibly unimpressed by Hunt’s performance, contestant number two, Boris Johnson, riffed on Harry Enfield’s character Tim Nice But Dim for his turn in the impressions round.

The second round, which saw both contestants try to convince the audience that they could deliver Brexit, has been described as deeply derivative of the BBC One comedy panel show Would I Lie To You. 

As the second half commenced, both contestants were visibly short of material and resorted to the sort of petty schoolboy sarcasm and backbiting usually reserved for satirical websites and The Daily Mail. 

A screening of a pre-recorded swimwear round was ditched at the last minute due to the show being broadcast before the watershed, leaving host, Julie Etchingham, to fill the gap by spending a full twenty minutes pressing Johnson to answer at least one question. Mr Johnson declined.  

A final quick fire questions round saw Hunt promise to build a railway and extend an airport while Johnson opted to throw an ambassador under a bus.

Aside from the quality of the contestants, the show’s biggest criticism is that the majority of viewers don’t even get to vote on its outcome.

Corbyn uninjured by fall from fence

Jeremy Corbyn
Photo credit: DepositPhotos

Reports say Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, was not injured by a fall from the fence he has been sat on for the last three years.

Mr Corbyn was seen to wobble on his perch on Monday when several trade union leaders called on their membership to give the fence a good old shake but managed to hold his position.

It is thought that deputy leader, Tom Watson, may have caused his leader’s final disgraceful dismount after he rallied Labour Party members to give the fence a final rattle in the hope of dislodging the ‘Dangerous Hero’ on Tuesday afternoon.

The Labour Leader emerged unscathed by his time astride the great Brexit divide and his subsequent fall, but due to the fence falling down it remains unclear which side of it he landed on. 

Early reports suggested that Corbyn landed with an elegant commando roll on the side of a second referendum, in which he’ll back remaining in the EU, making Labour the de facto party of remoaners.

However, reverse angle footage appears to show the 70-year-old landing on his head before dusting himself down and telling his disciples that if Labour won a general election, they’d only require a “confirmatory vote” to leave the EU with a Labour negotiated Brexit deal.

Fence owner and Brexit Party head honcho, Nigel Farage, is said to be furious by the damage Mr Corbyn’s supporters have caused and declared he’d have the fence back in place, dividing the country, as soon as possible.