The UK government has launched an investigation after diplomatic emails were leaked to The Mail on Sunday.
Sir Kim Darroch, Britain’s Ambassador to Washington, used secret cables and briefing notes to question Donald Trump’s character while also stating the obvious regarding the shambolic state of the White House.
The Mail published the cache of leaked documents in its Sunday edition, with editors thought to have dropped an important exposé of the top ten celebrity side boobs spotted at Glastonbury in favour of embarrassing Sir Kim and the country he serves.
Publication of the emails, which contained very little that would not be patently obvious to even the most casual observer of US politics, resulted in transatlantic diplomatic tensions and forced Embassy officials to deploy the Ferrero Rocher in a bid to defuse the situation.
As the Foreign Office launched an investigation into the source of the leak, a top civil servant said:
“We don’t really believe this Administration is going to become substantially more normal; less dysfunctional; less unpredictable; less faction riven; less diplomatically clumsy and inept.
“But the show must go on, and Britain cannot let the failings of the Conservative Party stand in the way of us mending the most special of special relationships and finding the source of this leak.”
Sources in the Chinese government revealed that Tory leadership candidate, Boris Johnson, had told aides that getting to the bottom this matter was his top priority and that he’d personally speak to Sir Kim as soon as he got to grips with is new Huawei P30 smartphone.