Under fire British ambassador Sir Kim Darroch seemed to have avoided an international crisis last night by sending a significant portion of a well-known brand of hazelnut and wafer chocolates to the White House.
The sweet treat was swiftly couriered to Pennsylvania Avenue from the British Embassy after the Mail on Sunday published leaked emails in which Sir Kim had described Mr Trump’s administration as “inept”, “dysfunctional” and “divided”.
A foreign office spokesman explained, “it’s textbook British diplomacy really; we cause grave offence by revealing our honest opinions and then we remedy the situation by organising a soiree and providing treats.”
The confectionary arrived in time for a gala evening in honour of top Republican Party officials and were distributed by white gloved footman on silver platters, an apparent attempt to remind Mr Trump of his recent State visit to the UK, which he is said to have “thoroughly enjoyed.”
First lady, Melania Trump remarked “the ambassador is really spoiling us,” adding, “the chocolates look absolutely enormous in my husband’s tiny Oompa Loompa hands.”
Brexit Party leader and Trump acolyte, Nigel Farage agreed that the move had been a triumph, “it’s a diplomatic masterstroke! I just hope that one day, my critics will feel sorry enough to send me a crate of real ale and a sleeve of fags!” he exclaimed before roaring maniacally with laughter.
The White House has yet to officially respond to the crisis but one source suggested that the gift had been a success, “The President seems very happy at the moment,” she said, “he will thank the Ambassador but he finds it very hard to Tweet when his mouth is full.”