The Post Truth Post

Chuka Umunna enters Tory leadership race

MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, is set to shake up the Conservative leadership race later today by announcing his bid to be the next prime minister and Tory leader.

Following a short stint as a Liberal Democrat, Mr Umunna joined the Conservatives earlier this week and says he now wants to lead the party before quitting to join the Greens in the Autumn.

“What the Conservative Party are looking for is someone who can deliver Brexit, someone who really understands the complex dynamic of leaving something only to be politically and financially worse off,” political analyst Charles Fishlove-Smyth told us.

“In Chuka, I think the Tories have found that man, just look at his track record for leaving.

“He left the Labour Party at a time when Jeremy Corbyn needed his help to climb down off the fence.” 

“Now he’s left the Liberal Democrats just as they are set to regain a small amount of relevance in Westminster.”

“But most importantly, he left Change UK, in Nando’s, without paying the bill, a move which is sure to appeal to the wing of the Conservative party that’s gagging for a no-deal Brexit.

“The only black mark against Mr Umunna is that he’s always been in favour of remaining in the EU, but the same can be said about Mr Johnson and Mr Hunt so maybe that doesn’t really matter.”

Homeowners perplexed by random spare room in Ikea flat-pack houses

Skjul - The Ikea flat-pack house

Ikea will soon start building flat-pack houses in the UK following a deal between Worthing Council and BoKlok, which is jointly owned by the Swedish retailer and construction company Skanska.

Councillors in the West Sussex town expect to sign the deal in the coming months following a successful pilot build of fourteen houses in neighbouring Shoreham-on-Sea.

Residents of the pilot homes say that overall they are very pleased with the build quality, although finding the right allen key to open the front door after a few pints has proved a challenge for some. 

“I love my ‘Skjul’,” Jane Fishlove, one of the early Shoreham residents, told us.

“It’s got everything you’d expect, bathroom, bedrooms, kitchen, and even a secret passage that gets you from the garage to the loft without going through any of the other rooms, just like in the Ikea stores.”

“The only negative is that all the houses have this random spare room that’s not on the plans or parts list, and none of us know what it’s for.”