The Post Truth Post

Five Tory hopefuls through to Judges’ Houses round

Boris Johnson and Louis Walsh

The remaining five candidates in the Conservative leadership contest travelled to a variety of exotic locations on Tuesday night for the penultimate, Judges' Houses round. 

Bookies' favourite, Boris Johnson, who flew to Nice to perform in front of Louis Walsh and Conservative Party chairman Brandon Lewis, more than made up for his recent no-show on Channel Four's Leader's Debate. 

Rehearsal footage, leaked on YouTube, shows the MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip performing a rousing rendition of Kylie Minogue's Millennium hit - Spinning Around. 

The 30-second video clip shows a coy Johnson delivering the final line of the verse - “And did I forget to mention that I found a new direction / And it leads back to me?”, directly into the camera before ripping off his trousers Full Monty style.

Challenger Jeremy Hunt, who qualified for the round with 46 votes, travelled to Simon Cowell's luxury villa in Spain where he sang Spitting Image’s 1986 classic - I've Never Met a Nice South African.

Joining the Syco impresario, MP for North Somerset and ERG Grand Wizard, Jacob Rees-Mogg said of Hunt’s performance:

“It was an odd song choice for a Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, and Jeremy was pitchy in places. 


“While I wholeheartedly agree with the lyrical subtext of the number, it’s still Boris for me I’m afraid.”

Rory Stewart is believed to have recorded a raw and authentic version of the Proclaimers’ hit - 500 Miles - using nothing more than his iPhone and a Zither he picked up at a Bazaar in Afghanistan.  

The penultimate round will see Home Secretary Sajid Javid reach out to the so-called “left behind” with an orchestral version of Morrissey’s 2004 bonus track - Teenage Dad On His Estate.

Dominic Raab, who launched his leadership campaign by vowing to explore the English Channel, was hoping that Rod Stewart’s - Sailing, would see him sail through to the final round but sank scoring only 30 votes.

However, the highlight of the next round is expected to be Michael Gove's ballad version of the 1983 hip-hop classic - White Lines.

Performed in front of judge Mel B and outgoing Prime Minister, Theresa May, the cover is said by industry insiders to be better than the original. 

"You sounded like you felt every second of that,” said the tearful Spice Girl after Gove’s heart-wrenching performance. 


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