The Post Truth Post

Raab launches leadership bid with bold plan to explore the English Channel


Launching his campaign to become the next Conservative leader, Dominic Raab says he wants Britain to become the nation of seafaring explorers and adventurers it once was. 

“I recently discovered that there is a stretch of uncharted water to the south of this great nation,” the former Brexit Secretary told reporters. 

“I don’t know what lies across this vast ocean but I promise I will put Britain not only on the map, but also more accurately positioned on that map by finding out.

“And with me as your prime minister, Britannia will once again rule the waves.

“I will cross that great southern sea, possibly on a boat, and bring back untold riches like Sir Francis Drake and Sir Edmund Blackadder before me.” 

Following a round of somewhat bemused applause, Mr Raab was reminded that the thing across the English Channel is called the European Union and on the whole voters don’t want any more of that being brought back to the UK.

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