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Royal pussies prepare for Trump visit

The Queen and Prince Philip

A team of specially trained cats have been deployed to Buckingham Palace as it prepares to host Donald and Melania Trump.

The Trumps arrive in the UK today for a three-day state visit during which they will attend a state banquet hosted by the Queen at her official London residence.

Cats are rare visitors to the royal palaces as the Queen has been allergic to them from a young age but have been granted exclusive access to ensure Melania Trump does not encounter any mice during her visit.

The Office of the First Lady requested the expertise of the feline secret service after the President’s third wife developed an extreme phobia of “funny furry creatures with tiny hands that shit everywhere” - like mice.


The Queen and Royal Family are expected to bear the brunt of the Presidential visit with Prince Charles schedule to educate Trump on the facts of climate change and the virtues of a good stilton paired with a Duchy Original oaten biscuit on Tuesday.

Along with his royal engagements, the President has set aside several hours to help Theresa May pack but will not meet with Jeremy Corbyn as asparagus season is still keeping the Labour Leader busy on his allotment.

Before flying to Europe to attend commemorations of the 75th anniversary of D-Day Mr Trump is also expected to both join the Brexit Party and enter the Conservative leadership race, bringing the total number of Tory leadership candidates to 3678


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