The Post Truth Post

Royal baby name: Public rooting for Baby McBabyface

Royal Baby Crying

The birth of the seventh in line to the throne, a week late and on an otherwise news-free bank holiday Monday, was a godsend for tabloid editors and spoof news sites bored to the back teeth with Brexit.

The Royal Palace announced that the Duchess of Sussex had a baby boy in the early hours of Monday morning and speculation is mounting as to what the little fella will be called. 

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are considered by many to be just like an average couple that have won the lottery a few times over, so could we see them eschew royal baby naming traditions for something more Wetherspoons. 

The forward-thinking royals may go with a standard James, Edward or Arthur but may decide to surprise everyone with Chris, Gary or Mozza.

Harry, like his father, is a big fan of Game of Thrones, leading some to speculate that we could soon have a Prince Grey Worm or a little Prince Tyrion, although most bookies have Joffrey at 1000:1.

World leaders have sent their congratulations to Harry and Meghan with Donald Trump tweeting:

“Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Narnia. Call him Donald. It’s the best name. A lot of people say so.” 

While speculation over the royal baby’s name is likely to fuel a couple more news cycles, one name is already a clear favourite with the public. 

A poll conducted by The Post Truth Post records that 82.3% of respondents are rooting for - His Royal Highness Prince Baby McBabyface the first. 

US President Donald Trump has declared victory in his war on fake news.

Donald Trump
Photo credit: Depositphotos

After claiming decisive victories in both the war on terror and a minor skirmish with an ant that tried to invade his lunch box, Donald Trump has declared the war on fake news is over.

The leader of the free world could hardly contain his excitement at notching up his “first term war winning hat trick”, telling supporters at a rally in Denver:

“I win, I’m the best at war, it’s true.

ISIS? Yeah smashed them and their goats, won’t be seeing those guys putting out videos any time soon.

“That ant? Crushed, and let me tell you, I got to eat the sandwich that day.

“And fake news, oh yes I’m looking at you BBCNNBC, you’re done too.

“No! More! Fake! News! I killed it. It’s dead. It’s deader than that Monty’s python.

“If you’re reading this on some pissant little blog like The Post Truth Post, so sad, you’ll know it’s real, because there is no fake news anymore, because I won already.

“Those guys can’t even make stuff up about me anymore because I beat fake news so hard it gave up and went home to its mommy.” 

The President continued to rant in a similar vein for a couple of hours until a chant of “lock her up” drowned him out.

With the war on fake news so decisively won, The Post Truth Post would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for reading.

We are proud to announce that this is the first completely factual and accurate story we have published as we transition to being proper journalists. 

God Bless America.