After claiming decisive victories in both the war on terror and a minor skirmish with an ant that tried to invade his lunch box, Donald Trump has declared the war on fake news is over.
The leader of the free world could hardly contain his excitement at notching up his “first term war winning hat trick”, telling supporters at a rally in Denver:
“I win, I’m the best at war, it’s true.
“That ant? Crushed, and let me tell you, I got to eat the sandwich that day.
“And fake news, oh yes I’m looking at you BBCNNBC, you’re done too.
“No! More! Fake! News! I killed it. It’s dead. It’s deader than that Monty’s python.
“If you’re reading this on some pissant little blog like The Post Truth Post, so sad, you’ll know it’s real, because there is no fake news anymore, because I won already.
“Those guys can’t even make stuff up about me anymore because I beat fake news so hard it gave up and went home to its mommy.”
The President continued to rant in a similar vein for a couple of hours until a chant of “lock her up” drowned him out.
With the war on fake news so decisively won, The Post Truth Post would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for reading.
We are proud to announce that this is the first completely factual and accurate story we have published as we transition to being proper journalists.
God Bless America.