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I’ll take you back, Trump tells Kim

Trump and Kim split

Donald Trump says he’ll take Kim Jong-un back after the North Korean leader is spotted out on the town with Vladimir Putin.

Mr Trump and Mr Kim have had an on again off again relationship since 2018 but the bromance appears to have come to an end after Trump walked out on Kim during a romantic trip to Hanoi earlier this year. 

The North Korean leader, 35, was said to be heart broken after Vietnam and has not been in contact with the 74 year old US President since.

With a slimmer looking Kim now in a high profile relationship with the 66 year old Russian President, Vladimir Putin, Mr Trump says he wants him back, tweeting this morning.

“Hey little rocket man, you know your big frightened dog is always gonna be there for you, call me babes!!!” 

Putin was coy when pressed for details about his new beau, telling reporters. 

“So Donald took Kim on two dates, they are not exclusive are they? 

“If Kim wants to hang out around my shark pool I think that’s his business.

“We are just two world leaders enjoying each other’s company, tell me, is that so wrong?” 


Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un compare shark pools

Vladimir Putin Kim Jong-un Shark Pool

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has accepted an invitation from Vladimir Putin to check out his new shark pool.

Mr Kim traveled to Russia last night to visit his good friend and fellow wannabe Bond villain Vladimir Putin.

The Russian President has just completed an extensive remodelling of his lair on Russky Island, near Vladivostok, and is thought to be keen to show off his new state-of-the-art shark pool.

Builders connected with the construction of the subterranean bunker say that Putin’s new pool can hold up to 24 great white sharks along with a standard piranha shoal.

Access to the pool is said to be directly available from several seats in the boardroom or by the use of a custom designed retractable bridge.

The trip is seen as an important step for the young Korean despot who, despite unanimous support at home, is only viewed as a minor threat to democracy and the western way of life by other leaders.

North Korean sources say that due to UN sanctions Mr Kim has not been able to build his own shark pool and is still using the child’s one his father, Kim Jong-il, built him for his eighth birthday. 

“Basically he is still threatening to feed dissenters to a paddling pool full of dogfish.” says North Korean affairs expert Rupert Fishlove-Smyth.

While in Russia, Mr Kim is also expected to ask the President if he can borrow some of his rockets and will discuss whether to give Donald Trump a second term in the White House.