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Huawei 5G row: Surprise after secret government Skype meeting is leaked

Bloke with some phones
Photo credit: Stock Unlimited

MPs are calling for a full investigation after secret discussions, about allowing Chinese telecoms firm Huawei to provide the UK with 5G infrastructure, were leaked. 

Despite security fears in some quarters, the government is believed to have approved the supply of 5G mobile telecoms infrastructure by Chinese firm Huawei. 

The decision is thought to have been taken during a secure Skype meeting between ministers and security experts that was held on Tuesday. 

Details of the meeting were subsequently leaked online and MPs are now calling for a “full and proper” investigation into the source of the leak.

One minister told our reporter “this is unbelievable, I can’t begin to understand how this has happened.”

“We all dialled in to the meeting using a secure line and followed proper protocol.

“I was in my constituency office so I used my new mobile, it’s really amazing the quality of call you get these days, it was just like being in the room.

“By the way have you seen the new Huawei P30 Pro? It’s got a Quad Camera and digitally enhanced aud—. 

“Ah. If you’ll excuse me I think I need to make a call. 

“Actually could I use your iPhone?”  


Lib Dems wondering if Chris Grayling has a sister

Christine Grayling

Sir Vince Cable has asked the remaining five Liberal Democrat members if anyone knows whether Chris Grayling has a sister.

Following the lead of Change UK and the Brexit Party, the Liberal Democrats are hoping to secure support from the sibling of a prominent Conservative MP ahead of the European elections. 

Both Change UK and the Brexit Party launched their respective European Parliamentary election campaigns by unveiling the sister of a household-name Tory backbencher.

Nigel Farage launched his new Brexit Party under the disdainful gaze of Annunziata Rees-Mogg, younger sister of ERG Grand Wizard Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Having already secured membership from celebrity ISIS bride Shamima Begum, Change UK attempted to trump Farage by announcing that Rachael Johnson, sister of eternal Conservative leadership hopeful Boris, will be standing for them.

In a bid to retain their position as the party Andrew Marr calls when the other two are busy, the Liberal Democrats are now on the hunt for a Tory sibling of their own.

Sources close to the Lib Dem leadership confirmed that while they would like to find the sibling of someone with Mr Grayling’s profile, they would gladly take anyone the public at large has heard of. 

“Brother, sister, pet dog. As long as the public has heard of them and the BBC will turn up and film them we’ll take them.” said a spokesman.

“We’re still about sensible policies a heart, but I guess this is just the way our politics work now.”