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Commuters relieved to hear that woman’s STI test is all clear

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Passengers on the 43 bus from Holloway to Islington are said to be delighted this morning after learning that fellow commuter Gail Smith’s STI test came back all clear.

Miss Smith made the announcement while phoning her mother from the crowded rush-hour bus, and then provided further detail in a second call to her best friend, who commuters believe to be named Sally.

John, a Systems Analyst who joined the bus at Archway, said, “I was just leafing through the Metro like any other morning when I heard the news.

“She was sat eight or nine rows behind me like, but she definitely said she’d been for the test and it was all clear.”

Another passenger, who asked to remain anonymous, told us, “I get this bus every morning and she’ll usually be doing her makeup or plucking her eyebrows, you know, normal stuff.

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“I was shocked to find out she’d even slept with that Mark, especially after what he said to Sally in the pub that time.

“Of course, the first I heard about any of it was when she rang her Mum just after the Nags Head stop this morning.

“Her mother’s a lovely woman by all accounts, very supportive, lots of ‘well at least you know nows’ and ‘just be safe next time babes’, not like that Sally, I could hear her laughing from the other end of the bus.

“Apparently the itching was caused by that new washing powder she started using so it isn’t even thrush. I’m so pleased for her.” 

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