The House of Commons is preparing for a mass game of musical chairs in the latest attempt to reach a consensus on Brexit.
MPs voted on four more alternatives to the prime minister’s withdrawal deal yesterday, once again decisively deciding that Brexit still means Brexit but falling woefully short of deciding what to do about it.
“Under the circumstances, a round of musical chairs is probably the most democratic way to clear up this mess and reassert global respect for our parliament.”
Under the Musical Chairs Protocol, each MP will pick their vision for Brexit and enter the ‘Hall of Chairs’ where they will dance around in a circle to preselected music.
The Speaker of the House will stop the music, call order, and parliamentarians will scrabble to take a seat. When the Speaker restarts the music MPs will stand and resume dancing and one chair will be removed.
This process is repeated until there is one chair remaining and the seated MP gets to decide the fate of the country.
Number 10 is said to be relieved that an end to Brexit is in sight but has warned that it could take several months for parliament to debate which music should be used.