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MPs to break Brexit deadlock with a game of musical chairs

Photo credit: Pixels

The House of Commons is preparing for a mass game of musical chairs in the latest attempt to reach a consensus on Brexit.

MPs voted on four more alternatives to the prime minister’s withdrawal deal yesterday, once again decisively deciding that Brexit still means Brexit but falling woefully short of deciding what to do about it.

With Theresa May mulling over a fourth ‘meaningful defeat’ of her Brexit deal, some MPs are calling for a game of musical chairs to break the impasse.

“The unique thing about Brexit, in constitutional terms at least, is that every man and his dog has a different opinion on what it means,” parliamentary expert Jonathan Fishlove says.

“Our parliamentary processes are designed to allow MPs to reach a consensus, which is somewhat dependent on more than one or two of them agreeing with each other.

“Under the circumstances, a round of musical chairs is probably the most democratic way to clear up this mess and reassert global respect for our parliament.”

Under the Musical Chairs Protocol, each MP will pick their vision for Brexit and enter the ‘Hall of Chairs’ where they will dance around in a circle to preselected music.

The Speaker of the House will stop the music, call order, and parliamentarians will scrabble to take a seat. When the Speaker restarts the music MPs will stand and resume dancing and one chair will be removed.

This process is repeated until there is one chair remaining and the seated MP gets to decide the fate of the country.

Number 10 is said to be relieved that an end to Brexit is in sight but has warned that it could take several months for parliament to debate which music should be used.

Mothers back to work after annual day off

Busy Mom
Photo credit: Depositphotos

Following their annual holiday mothers up and down the country are back to work today. 

Mum of two and part-time shop assistant Karen Bailey tells us about the relaxing day she spent with her family this Mothering Sunday.

“It was a lovely break. Little Jimmy usually gets me up at six on a weekend but yesterday he spent an hour and fifteen minutes cremating some toast for my breakfast. I had a nice lie in listening to the smoke alarm and the kitchen being trashed.

“Obviously the toast was inedible, but it was sweet that he’d used one of the charred crusts as a charcoal stick to draw me a Mother’s Day card.

“After making breakfast for the family and cleaning up the devastation in the kitchen, I got the kids ready and ironed a shirt for my husband Phil. Then we went out to the pub for a Mother’s Day lunch. 

"Phil said he wouldn't mind having a pint or two so I drove, but that worked out well because I needed to pop to ASDA for some bits for tea anyway, so I left them to it in the pub for an hour after lunch.

“Apparently Phil bumped into Steve in the pub and Steve wanted him to try some new craft IPA or something, so by the time I got him home he was ready for bed.

 “I made the kids tea, gave them baths, read them bedtime stories, packed them lunches for the morning and put their school uniforms out. Then I sat down in front of Masterchef on iPlayer with a glass of wine before falling asleep.

“It’s lovely that us mothers get a special day, but no rest for the wicked, it’s back to work today.”