The Post Truth Post

Mothers back to work after annual day off

Busy Mom
Photo credit: Depositphotos

Following their annual holiday mothers up and down the country are back to work today. 

Mum of two and part-time shop assistant Karen Bailey tells us about the relaxing day she spent with her family this Mothering Sunday.

“It was a lovely break. Little Jimmy usually gets me up at six on a weekend but yesterday he spent an hour and fifteen minutes cremating some toast for my breakfast. I had a nice lie in listening to the smoke alarm and the kitchen being trashed.

“Obviously the toast was inedible, but it was sweet that he’d used one of the charred crusts as a charcoal stick to draw me a Mother’s Day card.

“After making breakfast for the family and cleaning up the devastation in the kitchen, I got the kids ready and ironed a shirt for my husband Phil. Then we went out to the pub for a Mother’s Day lunch. 

"Phil said he wouldn't mind having a pint or two so I drove, but that worked out well because I needed to pop to ASDA for some bits for tea anyway, so I left them to it in the pub for an hour after lunch.

“Apparently Phil bumped into Steve in the pub and Steve wanted him to try some new craft IPA or something, so by the time I got him home he was ready for bed.

 “I made the kids tea, gave them baths, read them bedtime stories, packed them lunches for the morning and put their school uniforms out. Then I sat down in front of Masterchef on iPlayer with a glass of wine before falling asleep.

“It’s lovely that us mothers get a special day, but no rest for the wicked, it’s back to work today.” 

March To Leave protestors offered cabinet positions if they back May’s Brexit deal

Theresa May
Photo credit: Depositphotos

Theresa May has offered one hundred members of the March To Leave cabinet positions if they back her Brexit deal in parliament today.

The March To Leave protestors will arrive in Parliament Square at 4pm today, having completed a gruelling 283 mile walk from Sunderland to London in less time than it’s taken MPs to chose which biscuits they want after the vote this evening.

With the DUP still refusing to vote with the PM, May has reached out to the protesters in the hope that she can rustle up the votes she needs. 

The move has raised eyebrows among some constitution experts but many have just shrugged their shoulders noting that parliament’s been busy rewriting the United Kingdom’s unwritten constitution since June 2016.

A government spokesperson told surprised reporters, “The ladies and gentlemen of March To Leave have shown that if you are going to leave one place with the intent of getting to another place all you need is a plan and bit of determination to get there.

“As many of you have noted in your newspapers, these are qualities that our government is sadly lacking, the PM hopes that by bringing these ‘patriots’ into cabinet we call all learn a thing or two about belief, integrity and getting the job done.

“And yes, her Brexit deal will pass, she’ll quit, and we can all enjoy another leadership election.”

Nigel Farage was said to be ecstatic about finally making it into the Commons until it was pointed out the offer was only open to those who had actually completed the march.