Theresa May has offered one hundred members of the March To Leave cabinet positions if they back her Brexit deal in parliament today.
The March To Leave protestors will arrive in Parliament Square at 4pm today, having completed a gruelling 283 mile walk from Sunderland to London in less time than it’s taken MPs to chose which biscuits they want after the vote this evening.
With the DUP still refusing to vote with the PM, May has reached out to the protesters in the hope that she can rustle up the votes she needs.
A government spokesperson told surprised reporters, “The ladies and gentlemen of March To Leave have shown that if you are going to leave one place with the intent of getting to another place all you need is a plan and bit of determination to get there.
“As many of you have noted in your newspapers, these are qualities that our government is sadly lacking, the PM hopes that by bringing these ‘patriots’ into cabinet we call all learn a thing or two about belief, integrity and getting the job done.
“And yes, her Brexit deal will pass, she’ll quit, and we can all enjoy another leadership election.”
Nigel Farage was said to be ecstatic about finally making it into the Commons until it was pointed out the offer was only open to those who had actually completed the march.