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Trump promises to fake more moon landings by 2024

Astronauts on the lunar surface
Photo credit: NASA

US Vice President Mike Pence has announced that the Trump administration plans to fake another American moon landing by 2024 at the latest.

Speaking at the National Space Council Meeting in Huntsville, Alabama, Pence said that the estimated year of 2028 for the next faked moon landing was “just not good enough”. 

“It is the stated policy of this administration and the United States of America to fake American astronauts back on the moon within the next five years,” Pence said.

“Some will say it’s too hard, it’s too risky, it’s too expensive. But the same was said back in 1962 and we did it back then without any CGI or modern film studio technology.

“Look what we’ve achieved since Stanley Kubrick put Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the lunar surface on that sound stage just outside Huntsville.

“We've made Avatar, we’ve made Guardians of the Galaxy, and we’ve made, eight, yes eight Star Wars movies. 

“Ok, some of those Star Wars movies weren’t as believable as the original fake moon landings, but if Americans can send a talking raccoon halfway across the galaxy, we can sure as hell fake putting a man back on the moon.”

President Trump is expected to direct the mission himself, both behind and in front of the camera, and has already commissioned a “moon uniform” that insiders are describing as “Zapp Brannigan-esque”.  

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