The Post Truth Post

March to Leave forced to do laps of the M25 due to Article 50 extension

M25 from the air
Photo credit: Flickr

The extension of Article 50 has wrong-footed the March to Leave protest, which will now arrive in London fourteen days early.

The 14-day march, organised by the Leave Means Leave campaign and supported from the comfort of his own home by Nigel Farage, started in Sunderland last Saturday and was scheduled to arrive in London on March 29th to coincide with the UK leaving the EU.

March organisers are reported to have been exasperated last night after the EU granted Theresa May a 14-day extension to Article 50, meaning that they will now arrive in London two weeks early. 

John Longworth, chairman of Leave Means Leave and one of the march leaders said: 

“This is bloody typical, we gave the government a clear mandate to leave on the 29th of March and now the EU stick their oar in and move the bloody date. This is exactly what we’ve been saying all along.

“What are we supposed to do now eh? I’ve got a hundred people here, out in the cold and rain, marching for what they believe in, and now we’ll arrive in London early because of some bureaucrat in Brussels.”

Following a brief call to Nigel Farage it was decided that the march should circle London, following the route of the M25, until April the 12th when he’ll join them in Parliament Square as planned.

“I only hope May can get her deal through parliament next week,” said Longworth “None of us are getting any younger and I don’t want to be traipsing round the M25 until the 22nd of May.” 

Corbyn hails Brussels shopping trip a success

Jeremy Corbyn
Photo credit: DepositPhotos

Jeremy Corbyn is back in the UK this morning after a whistle-stop, pre-Brexit shopping trip to Brussels.

The Labour leader was accompanied by, shadow Brexit secretary, Sir Keir Starmer on the 18-hour round trip to Brussels yesterday, returning with a van load of continental cheeses, jams and Belgian beer. 

Arriving back in Islington this morning, Mr Corbyn addressed the press from his shed hailing the trip as a monumental success. 

“Like many of my constituents, I haven’t got a clue what’s going on with Brexit. If I’m honest I thought the Tories would eventually see sense and call the whole thing off”, Corbyn told reporters.

“When I saw Theresa on TV on Wednesday night, with that mad glint in her eye, I just said to myself she’s flipped, she’s going to let us crash out and I panicked.

“I put my tin of beans back in the fridge and got straight on the phone to Keir and told him she’s gone crazy, we have to act now. 

“To be fair it was Keir who suggested hiring the van and heading to Brussels to stock up on beers before the WTO tariffs kick in; smart boy that one.

“Anyway, I can say it was a very productive trip. Keir came home with two hundred different Trappist beers and I’ve stocked the larder with some delightful jams and cheeses.

“Did you know the Belgians make a jam from evaporated fruit juices called Sirop de Liège? It really is rather lovely, I guess I’ll miss that once we’ve Brexited.”