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European votes to leave Research and Group

European walks away from Research and Group

The European Research Group have been forced to reprint their headed stationery after the word European votes unanimously to leave their name.

Jacob Rees-Mogg dispatched an urchin to Smythson of Bond Street to purchase new copperplate engraved, White Wove 150 GSM, stationery for the ERG this morning after the word European voted to leave the group’s name.

European was never completely comfortable being associated with the avowedly anti-European ERG membership and last night all eight of its letters voted ‘out’, leaving the words Research and Group to fend for themselves.

The remaining two words of the influential organisation’s moniker announced the split at a joint press conference.

“We have the greatest respect for our European colleague and wish him all the best in his future endeavours.” Research told reporters. 

“He will be missed and we hope to trade more than just insults going forward but if we’re honest he never really aligned with our core values.”

Group added, “Hats off to him though, organising a vote and then leaving is something the three of us have wanted for a long time.” 

European is understood to be spending some time with his family before taking up a new position with ‘political brand’ The Independent Group

Chuka Umunna tweeted, “I’m pleased to welcome European to our little group. I’m sure he’ll slot right in alongside Independent.”

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