The Post Truth Post

uSwitch add political parties to their portfolio

Political Party Price Comparison

Price comparison website uSwitch has launched a new service to allow MPs to switch party with the click of a mouse.

To date, eleven MPs have traded in their old political party and made the switch to market disrupter, The Independent Group.

With more defections likely, in the run-up to Brexit, uSwitch has launched a new online service that will make the processes of ditching your manifesto pledges as easy as changing energy supplier.

Harold Fishbone from uSwitch explained that political allegiance has many parallels to the energy market, telling us.

“In many British households, the choice of energy supplier is passed down through the generations.

“If you’re locked into a 24-month price cap deal with British Gas the chances are your father was a British Gas man just like his father before him, assuming electricity existed that far back.”

uSwitch has helped many families break free from the high cost of staying with their traditional energy supplier and now wants to do the same for politicians equally unhappy with their current deal.

“Members of Parliament want the best deal for their constituents and our new service will help them find that deal,” said Mr Fishbone.

“Maybe the cost of staying in the EU is too high or perhaps you’re being charged for being too anti-Semitic? Either way, our website can find you a better deal.”

While no announcement has been made, Compare the Market Limited are believed to be following uSwitch’s lead with a typically humorous spinoff for left of centre MPs, rumoured to be called,

Shamima Begum says she has renounced ISIS and will join The Independent Group

Independent Group with Shamima Begum

Shamima Begum, the schoolgirl who fled London to join the Islamic State, was stripped of her British citizenship this week by Conservative leadership hopeful Sajid Javid.

Now stateless, it was expected that Ms Begum would apply for Bangladeshi citizenship before returning to the UK on a student visa, but in a surprise move, she has become the latest defector to join the new Independent Group.

The IS “poster girl”, currently a resident of a Syrian refugee camp told reporters of her new allegiance at her daily press briefing.

“I didn’t fancy Bangladeshi citizenship, innit, so I have renounced the Islamic State and have joined The Independent Group.

“It is with a heavy heart that I do this, I joined Daesh at 15, it has been my life, but ISIS has been taken over by an extremist minority who want to bring the Caliphate into the EU, and I can no longer sit by and watch that happen.”

Ms Begum’s defection from IS gives The Independent Group twelve seats in Parliament, moving them ahead of the Lib Dems in terms of votes and level pegging with the DUP for religious zealots.

The Independent Group’s website briefly displayed this statement before falling over.

“We welcome Ms Begum, as we welcome people from all failed political ideologies and hope that together we can overcome the extremist tendencies that a have infected both of the traditional political parties.”

Jeremy Corbyn was quick to respond calling for a by-election in the refugee camp and dispatching Derek Hatton to stand as Labour candidate for Baghuz.