The Post Truth Post

Qui-Gon Jinn admits he wanted to kill droids

Qui-Gon Jinn
Photo credit: Lucasfilm Ltd. & TM. All Rights Reserved

The Jedi master says he went hunting for battle droids after a Roomba spread Massiff shit over his carpet.

In an exclusive interview* with The Post Truth Post, Jinn told us how as a young Jedi he actively sought out droids with the intent of killing them.

“I’d come back from the Jedi temple one evening to find my pet Massiff had had a little accident on the carpet.” Master Jinn explained.

“Bad enough, but my Roomba droid had spread it all over the floor.

"Seriously, my carpet looked like a brown star field during the jump to hyperspace.” he chuckled. 

Qui-Gon told us how in his rage at the domestic appliance he wanted to avenge his ruined rug and set out to pick a fight with any droid that crossed his path.

“It was like a red mist, I went to a trade negotiation armed with a lightsaber for fucks sake. 

"When the battle droids turned up, I admit it, I just slaughter them, and then I felt bad about it and went for a power walk.”

Ask whether racism or lazy stereotyping had lead to his actions a thoughtful Qui-Gon responded.

“No, of course not, I’m talking about machines but I’m sure Jar Jar could tell you a thing or two about that.”

* Spoiler alert: He’s not dead…

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