The Post Truth Post

Could this new app help men aim true?

Urinals with target
Photo credit: Kim Siever

With men increasingly using their smartphones at the urinal this new app aims to help them aim true.

We live increasing busy lives and our smartphones are central to this 24/7 always-on culture but can a new app from tech-startup AimTru help men who need to go, when they’re on the go?

The damp leg, the wet shoe or worst still the angry urinal neighbour, all problems on the increase for the estimated 88% of men who now use their phone or tablet while filling the trough.

But how do you keep Percy pointed at the porcelain while simultaneously getting those sales figures over to Trevor or syphon the python while closing that deal with Simon? AimTru could be the app for you. 

When held in position above the urinal, AimTru uses the downward facing camera on your iPhone or Android device to monitor both direction and velocity of flow, while the ‘heads-up’ display allows you to monitor your aim while simultaneously texting the wife or checking that half-time result.

AimTru's patented AI technology alerts the user should his aim on the drain drift, is compatible with 99.9% of urinal designs and members of all sizes. 

No urinal? No problem. Just pop the lid up on any standard toilet and AimTru will keep you on target even with the seat down. 

Finally, if you need to break the seal but you’ve just made a breakthrough on Tinder, just ask Siri to switch to 'dick-pic' mode and show that lucky lady what she’s in for, completely hands-free. 

AimTru is available now from all good app stores.

Teens carrying knives to be sent to bed early with no screen time

Angry iPhone
Photo credit: by Pexels

New powers to control teenagers who carry knives will include banning them from Facebook and sending them to bed early.

In an astonishingly middle-class response to the ongoing issue of knife-crime in deprived areas, Sajid Javid has given police new powers to send ‘naughty-children with knives' to bed with no screen time.

The Home Secretary’s Knife Crime Prevention Orders will target anyone 12 or over suspected of being involved with knife crime or carrying a blade. 

The Orders will give police a range of radical new powers that previously have been reserved for the parents of middle-class teenagers who have started ‘acting out’.

Suspects guilty of offences relating to knife crime could be subject to one or more of the following sanctions:

  • Drill music to be listened to with headphones and at an appropriate volume.
  • Accepting their mum’s Facebook friend request and liking her comments.
  • Screen time restricted to 20 minutes and only under parental supervision in the sitting room.
  • Early bedtime on school nights once homework is complete.
  • Grounding for up to two weeks and required to help with the housework.

The Home Secretary apparently stopped short of suggesting that suspects are sent to bed early without dinner, as surprisingly even he recognises that kids in deprived areas rarely get dinner before bed.