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Twitter outage brings White House to a standstill

Photo credit: Aaron Kittredge Follow

America has woken up this morning to news that all White House business will be suspended while IT support resolve what has been described as a minor fault with Donald Trump's twitter account.

The President made a brief statement using the emergency broadcast system, which is usually reserved for national emergencies like the end of civilisation or a diplomatic visit from Boris Johnson.

"My fellow Americans. Following an upgrade to Android Pie on my phone, enemies of this great country, probably the British, bad sad people, have taken out my Twitter account in what can only be a preemptive strike against me.

I therefore call a state of national emergency and will cease all government business until my phone is fixed."

The head of the NSA's IT department, Stuart Weinberg, commented on the incident saying,

"We first noted the presidential twitter account was down at 03:00am. The president usually likes to troll senior democrats at this time, but the last tweets on his feed were the ones live tweeted to misrepresent the House Intelligence Committee hearing on the alleged wiretapping of Trump Tower earlier in the day.

At 3:04am we initiated emergency protocol Bluebird Down."

Pressed by journalists for the suspected cause of the outage Mr Weinberg added,

"We believe the fault is with the chair to keyboard interface as we have been seeing increased 'ID 10T' error messages since last November"


Donald Trump accuses Donald Trump of tapping Donald Trump’s phone

Donald Trump
Photo credit: Depositphotos

In his latest bid to prove that anyone in Washington was actually interested in listening to him during the closing stages of last year's presidential campaign, Donald Trump is now accusing himself of wiretapping his own phones.

Previously the president has gone on record to accuse his predecessor in the White House of tapping phones in Trump Tower. When pressed to provide evidence to the Senate Intelligence Committee he later claimed it was the UK intelligence agencies that had "violated his golden receivers"

With both the office of former president Barack Obama and GCHQ dismissing the allegations, Mr Trump has once again moved the goal posts tweeting last night

"My conversations are great, the best, you'd want to listen to them. They are so great, really the best, that I've tapped my own phones so I can listen to me over and over"

White House spokesman, Steven Shinner, confirmed the president's admission in a FOX News interview saying.

"Yes, the president does like the sound of his own voice and records all his calls for both personal use and so he can share them with the Russians. Did I say Russians? I mean Republicans. Yes, share his thoughts with fellow Republicans"