The Post Truth Post

Donald Trump accuses Donald Trump of tapping Donald Trump’s phone

Donald Trump
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In his latest bid to prove that anyone in Washington was actually interested in listening to him during the closing stages of last year's presidential campaign, Donald Trump is now accusing himself of wiretapping his own phones.

Previously the president has gone on record to accuse his predecessor in the White House of tapping phones in Trump Tower. When pressed to provide evidence to the Senate Intelligence Committee he later claimed it was the UK intelligence agencies that had "violated his golden receivers"

With both the office of former president Barack Obama and GCHQ dismissing the allegations, Mr Trump has once again moved the goal posts tweeting last night

"My conversations are great, the best, you'd want to listen to them. They are so great, really the best, that I've tapped my own phones so I can listen to me over and over"

White House spokesman, Steven Shinner, confirmed the president's admission in a FOX News interview saying.

"Yes, the president does like the sound of his own voice and records all his calls for both personal use and so he can share them with the Russians. Did I say Russians? I mean Republicans. Yes, share his thoughts with fellow Republicans"


Ex PM who ignored the will of the people urges current PM to ignore will of the people

Tony Blair
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Today former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, will tell the country that just because the majority voted to leave the EU doesn't mean the UK should leave the EU and urge Theresa May to ignore the result of last year's referendum.

"Look, it's a lot like that time when you all marched through the streets of London imploring me not to invade Iraq" Mr Blair will say.

"Did I listen? No I did not and if I was Prime Minister now I wouldn't listen again, unless I happened to agree with you in which case I'd suggest you rise up in defense of my beliefs"

"Look I've even prepared this dossier of well researched facts about why we should be going in to Europe, I mean, staying in Europe"

"Full EU membership means a strong pound. It means free movement. Both of these are vital to the many British people who make a living through highly paid speaking engagements in the cities of Europe"

In a further throwback to the early noughties, Donald Trump held a press conference on his golf course in which he announced his intent to rename Washington Trumpton ending his statement with

"Now watch this drive, it's the best"